if i could write about anything

If I could write about anything...

I'd write about how moving around gets lonely.

& how it's exciting at the same time.

I'd write about how a certain health issue, like clockwork, rears its ugly head every couple of weeks and ruins my life and makes me cry far too often.

& I'd write about how some people brush it off as "not a big deal" even though I

find it devastating.

I'd write about how difficult it is when your friends start

treating you differently because you're married.

& then how difficult it is when you realize that you have changed.

I'd write about how it took me months to trust B because of past pain. 

& how it's still a work in progress.

I'd write about how some people told me I was throwing away my DC career to move 

with my husband. Because it hurt.

& how the move was the best decision of my life.

I'd write about how B makes me a better person every day.
& how he doesn't even realize it.

I'd write about anything and everything that's in my head.

But I won't.

Because I can't.

So for now -- instead of being raw -- I sit here with all of these thoughts.

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